My grief

Okay so as I mentioned before, I'm currently going through grief due to my father's unexpected and untimely death. I've been trying to figure out how I wanted to post this since how he died is a pretty sensitive subject and is also an assumption since I have no idea how he actually died. I've been trying so hard to deal with this and I just want to know why he freaking did it. I guess I'll never know or I'll find out when I get up to Heaven. I thought I'd share part of my grief journey with you guys in hopes I can help someone out with their own. 

   See when my grandpa died almost eight years ago, I almost ended up six feet under myself. That's how bad my own depression was. But God's grace helped me through all of that and I vowed if something like that happened again, I'd handle it differently. So when I found out that Dad died, I was already doing yoga and all that for my anxiety, losing weight and sciatica. So I discovered on YouTube that they have a bunch of Yoga instructors who have series of yoga specifically for Grief. So I started doing that. Then I started adding Ashwaghanda powder to my shakes and parfaits which helps stabilize my mood. And now I also have been reading books about grief, along with devotionals about it. Allowing myself moments of the day to feel the feels: Hurting, sadness, all of that, actually helps me function and be present for everyone else. This is something I wish I had discovered when Grandpa died...

So this is one of the books I've checked out from the library that give you helpful affirmations and quotes to help you heal. So far I'm loving it.

No it doesn't have to be read in any particular order but I'm reading them two at a time to get caught up. 😂

I'll be posting more on this book and some of the other books I've got checked out from the library, including a couple of leisure books. Just know if you all have lost a loved one recently or otherwise, just know you're not alone and I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God helps us all find healing in this grief journey. Will be posting more soon 

-Bekka

My favorite breakfast

Okay so, I'm sorry I'm not posting as often right now as I would like, my father died like two weeks ago and I'm making preparations to go back up to my home state for his funeral. It's been pretty hard on me and I've been taking time to grieve and work. That's been taking up most of my energy right now. 

   However, I thought I'd share with you my new favorite breakfast: Raspberry coconut yogurt mixed with Vanilla chocolate chip granola, a scoop of Vanilla Slimfast powder mix, and since I'm grieving and my anxiety is high right now I do a third of a teaspoon of Ashwaghanda powder. 

Ashwaghanda has so many health benefits physically as well as for your mental health. It helps balance out our moods and it mostly helps with anxiety and depression but it also is great for your body. It tastes like bitter ground up grass but I like to hide it in my pancakes I make, smoothies and my yogurt mix. I'll try to do some more research on Ashwaghanda for you guys and for the book portion of my blog, I'll be reading some books on grief and let you all know which ones I personally found helpful. Have a blessed day!

-Bekka

Taco Bell veggie Mexican pizza

Okay things have been crazy busy in both mine and Ashley's home lives. My mother came home from the rehab center (don't ask) so we're all trying to adjust to that and yeah. But I thought I'd hop on to do a quick review of the Veggie Mexican Pizza from Taco Bell I got a few days ago. 

as you can see I already took a bite, 😂, but I was beyond hungry that day. But it's basically the Mexican pizza but they take off the tomatoes (my personal request since Tomatoes and I don't get along) and the meat so it's refried beans with cheese and sauce. Some might call this bland but I loved it. 

Had to post this for reasons. 😂 So yeah. If you prefer it to be spicier, I'd recommend getting it with Diablo sauce to drench it in (LOVE that sauce, fyi) but if you can't handle spicy and prefer the mild stuff I highly recommend this. It also helps if you like Taco Bell. I know some people don't which is fine. If y'all want to recommend any fast food restaurants that serve vegetarian options, please feel free to let me know on here or IG. Thanks! 

-Bekka

my favorite smoothies

Okay so most of my peeps know I've been doing Slimfast since 2019. And my secret to sticking with it is the different shake recipes you can find on Pinterest or the Slimfast website itself. I'll post more of these as my journey continues but I thought I'd share with you two of my favorite shakes to make.

this one's a favorite because it tastes like apple pie. So I'll use a cup of Fairlife, a splash of Apple Cider Vinegar, a scoop of the vanilla Slimfast mix, the cup of applesauce, a dash of cinnamon, an eighth of a cup of Monkfruit and the Caramel syrup and I blend it together obviously til it's mixed up properly, stick it in a tumbler or water bottle or something and I take it to work. I've been loving lots of different fruit lately. Last night I ate a small container of cantaloupe. But on the days where I don't have enough money for fresh fruit, I put frozen or whatever canned fruit I have into my shakes and smoothies. It's actually helped me get over being sick and helps me with my energy and overall health. 

Of course this one's my favorite of all time. It's a Reese's peanut butter cup smoothie. I put a cup of milk into a bottle or in this case, Mason jar, an eighth of a cup of caramel syrup (I always get zero sugar syrups. It's better for you and still tastes just as good.), and an eighth of a cup of peanut butter powder. I then put the lid on it and shake it. It's so delicious and I usually down the shake in seconds. Even at work 😂. I am obviously not a doctor so please consult your doctor about this or most "diets" but I am here to recommend what's been working for me. I'm down to a size medium in most of my clothes, mostly because of this and working as a package handler at FedEx literally is a workout. I hope y'all found this helpful and I hope y'all try the shakes. I've got a lot of recipes that I'll be sharing with y'all soon. 

  -Bekka